*Wow* It's already been a week since March has arrived!! And with it, came so many things... like *My Birthday* on the 1st! :) Also, *march lillies* and *pear tree blossoms* :) The sound of beautiful birds singing in the mornings, bright sun-shiny days, white fluffy clouds, and fresh smelling air as the breeze blows! I'm keeping my eyes wide open to catch my first glimpse of a bluebird :)  And I'm making plans to wash some quilts and hanging them OUT to dry :) I LOVE *Spring*!! 

...But it also brought some CRAZY weather, didn't it?? Beautiful one day, 90 tornadoes the next, with talks of snow showers after that... and pouring the rain all day today! No wonder the old saying goes, "If you don't like the weather in Kentucky, just stick around-- it's sure to change!" :D That's diffintely true!

I hope everyone is enjoying the changing of the seasons... I know I am! :)
*Smile*  For March has arrived!! :D

:)  As I was praying to YHWH today, I was able to pray~and sing~the ponderings of my heart... to release my inner desires and yearnings for HIM. This is somewhat personal, but what a sweet sweet time <3 A time I won't likely forget. I feel like I have come to an understanding of HIS Sabbath, that I've overlooked until now. It holds an even greater signifigance to me, now :) As I shared on my last post ("Shabbat Shalom??"), I have been gaining a deeper appreciation for His Sabbath over the past several months-- but it has really moved upon my heart to an even greater extent today <3

I feel like as we clear the clutter and chaos of our busy minds and lives, we are putting ourselves in the quiet place that we need to be... to BEHOLD HIM. Even if we feel like we have an organized and productive mind and life, free of clamour and chaos-- we STILL need to position ourselves  in the restful quiet place He offers us to effectively Behold Him. It is HIS Sabbath, and He desires that we take part in it... probably for many many reasons, but I feel like one of the very important reasons is so that He has us "still and quiet" enough that we can actually "behold Him" --as He reveals Himself to us more and more throughout the years and years of our lives that He grants to us.

"To Behold HIM"... what does that mean? I'm sure I don't know the full extent of what has been impressed in my heart by this 'thought', but I know it has to do with More than just "looking" at Him or in His direction. It has to do with examining closely-- with great awe and wonderment. To "behold" (take note of, take care of, investigate slowly and thoroughly) HIM-- to gain a clearer perspective and understanding of Him. Then, to guard those things He reveals to you, and keep them close... walking in them and living in them... making them a part of you. For me, it would be similar to studying the stars and constellations each night-- as I try to learn them and define them and track them through the night and seasons. To move beyond just being familiar with them, but knowing them. I've spent hours beholding their beauty and watching them closely... trying to learn them. They have a glorious beauty! But how easy is it for us to merely glance at them from time to time, and keep going about our own "thing" not really spending Time 'beholding' them? We admire them and rely on knowing they will always be there, and may even spend a few moments captured by their beauty from time to time... but I would say that Most of us just take them for granted most of the time. We're just used to them.

Are we the same way with YHWH? I don't want to be. I want to slow down and purposely focus my attention on Him. I want to *BEHOLD HIM*, in all His wonderous beauty and glory!! I want to be filled up and 'made fat' by Him as He did the land and skies in His creation of all things :)  I want to know Him and love Him and all of His ways, just as the writer expressed over and over in Psalm 119. We learn Him by His word, His Torah. A beautiful part of the Sabbath. His way is the way of life and I want to walk in it :) In the quietness of His peace, we can Behold Him <3

                    *Sar Shalom (Ruler of Peace)~ 'that we may Behold You'*

                         Sar Shalom, bring Your quiet love in this place
                               and relieve the stress of our ways~
                                     that we may Behold You.

                         Sar Shalom, bring the peace of Your quietness
                                and the beauty of Your holiness~
                                      that we may Behold You.

                                   O YaHWeH, we seek Your way,
                              to behold Your face and not turn away~
                                               we extol You,
                                           may we Behold You,
                                                O YaHWeH.
                                                       *

"Shabbat Shalom"... words I have recently become very familiar with. At first they were "fun new words", then they became words that "connected" our little "group" together (that we meet with on a regular basis)--because we began to greet one another freely using those words on the Sabbath (Shabbat), and now they have become "personal" words that hold very special meaning to me. 'Shabbat Shalom'... Hebrew words for "Peaceful Sabbath". I am learning the Hebrew language, and it is so exciting to become even more connected to these words and the language they come from!! But, it is more than that. It is "what" the Sabbath--and the peace of the Sabbath-- has come to mean to me. More than a ritual, more than a tradition, and more than a list of "don'ts"... but truly a special "set apart" time from the rest of the week. A time I have come to anticipate and look forward to. A time I have got into the routine of planning for and preparing for. A time I have come to LOVE. Without realizing it, I can see that it has brought a Peace to me and my life. I cherish it. It has become one of my greatest pleasures, one of my *favorite gifts* from YHWH :) And it comes EVERY WEEK!! :)

"Shalom" is Peace, but also More than {only} peace. It IS lack of confusion and lack of chaos and lack of deveastation and despair... but More than all of these. It is wellness, completeness, wholeness... nothing missing, nothing broken, and nothing lacking. It is the presence of YHWH, which is secure and safe and at rest from worry or fear or anger--or any thing that would cause disturbance. PEACE. What a Treasure! Can one put a price on genuine peace? It is beyond money or power or prestige... and it is freely given to all those that fear YHWH and keep HIS commands. What a gift!!! I truly appreciate this gift, and I cherish it with my whole heart. <3 

But I don't have to wait until Shabbat to experience Shalom... it is in HIM :) And as I sit quietly in my little home, listening to the clock tick and the keyboard keys click, I can experience Shalom/Peace :) And I *Am*... I hope you are to :)

Shabbat Shalom, my friends~   

This morning I awoke with immediate *joy* :) I thought about it for awhile and determined that it was probably because I had listened to two different "teachings" before I went to bed last night... teachings in some areas that I had already been studying on my own. I feel like I am gaining some clarity in some areas that I've been pondering. The more I explore and research and think and pray and listen and learn... the more "alive" I feel! The more meaning and purpose I see. The more excitement there is in life and living :) {and in this case, I'm learning more and more about YHWH... which brings me closer and closer to HIM <3 THAT I LOVE!}
The other night my daughter came downstairs and saw me with my Bible, pen, and notebook and said (with a grin) "It figures"... meaning she had already expected to find me doing what I was doing and it didn't surprise her or seem abnormal. I hope that's a good thing! :) My children ask me questions, and I pull out the Bible... "*sigh*..."here we go again! ;) " they tease me. We can barely "stay on track" with our daily Scripture reading/discusion time, because there is always SO MUCH I want to share with them... and the more they ask... the more there is to share with them and try to  show them.
 
I have a "love" for learning... I guess that's why I love homeschooling and teaching my children. It seems I always have a pile of books, papers, notebooks, etc. piled around me-- either preparing school lessons and plans, or studying the Scriptures. There is nothing like the thrill of learning! I'm not speaking of "head knowledge of facts" for the sake of "prestige" or "self pride", but genuinely learning new things and exploring the world around you... whether it be the physical world surrounding you (science), the way we became "who" we are in this world (history), or even the world of language-- the way  we speak and how/why it works. This world and creation that YHWH has made is an AMAZING thing!! And it is THRILLING to LEARN about it * :) * It is this "love of learning" that I hope to instill in my children. It is why I do what I do for them. I want them to really learn, not just memorize facts for a test about things they have no interest in or for. I want them to learn and enjoy learning. And I want them to KEEP learning for their entire lives. This is my hope for them.

But in all their learning, I hope they learn YHWH and HIS ways... NOTHING else matters in comparison. So, YES, *sigh* "here we go again!"... and "Again"... and "Again!" :) I want them to "GET IT" and I mean REALLY get it. I want them to read and study and ponder and search out TRUTH for themselves. I don't want them to get in the habit of settling for "quick answers"... even if those "answers" are from me. I want them to spend some time Thinking and Finding Out about it. It takes time and effort. I want them to see the importance of taking that time and spending that effort... on what really matters.

I'm thankful for the gift of learning and the ability and resources available to make it as beneficial as possible. It is my prayer that I can pass it on to my precious children!

Snow? WHAT'S that?? We've had such an unusually warm "spring-like" winter, that I've almost forgotten what snow and winter is :) I know that's a good thing for most people, but I'VE missed having -at least- some resemblance of the season. My evergreen garland and pinecones, cardinals and snowmen scattered throughout the house seem so out of place... and seem to bring less enjoyment than usual. The warmer darker colors, cozy quilts, and *wintertime* decorations and candles just don't seem to fit :( Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for another ice storm to hit- or to be buried in snow 12 ft. deep for 3 months! No, I don't enjoy driving on snow and ice and worrying about loved ones, I don't like high heating bills and hoping the electricity stays on, and I don't like getting out when it's so cold it hurts-just to go to the grocery!!! However, I DO enjoy the snowy wintery atmoshere -within reason- and I feel a little disappointed that there hasn't been any snow sleding, snow-angel making, snowman-building, snow cream making weather this season! :(

Yesterday we had a few flurries and a small little non-accumilating snow, turning in to rain and ice last night... but it was hardly worth counting. I was hoping to put on a big pot of chili (which I did) and snuggle up and drink some hot chocolate or hot tea while I *practice* a little more on my newly-learned knitting skills :) But it didn't really feel the same :( By this morning, the sun was shining brightly (which is beautiful!) and the birds were singing sweetly (which is lovely!) and there was not a trace of "yesterday's winter" left :( Oh well, I guess knitting coziness will have to wait for "next year" ... because I already have a yard full of Robins every day, a sure sign of *spring* Not all is lost-- I can look forward to seeing if my newly planted flowers will come back up that I planted last year :) 

Snow? WHAT'S that?? ;)

Creating a life of Beauty...
I have thought MUCH on this topic-- through many years, due to all the different 'beliefs' and 'interpretations' of what is acceptable with "Christians" and GOD in the areas of "material things/posessions" and "pretty/vanity" ...etc.  I Do believe in modesty, and I Do believe in being a good steward, being conservative, and focusing on eternal purposes... however, to totally abstain from all the beauty that our Father has created within US, as well as the earth surrounding us, would be (in my opinion) a very sad mistake.

YHWH did not create an uninteresting, ugly, plain world... He created the most BEAUTIFUL BREATH-TAKING earth/universe EVER... how can one behold it and Not be 'captured' by its Beauty and AWE-someness? How can one Not want to re-create -in some way- the beauty that surrounds them? If done in the right heart/motive, isn't it the highest compliment to our Creator? I truly appreciate all the beauty He has chosen to share with us... and find myself, without effort, constantly wanting to express the same sense of beauty to all those around me :)

Around two years ago, after the Ice Storm, we lived six months with my mother... which was a special time for all of us... but during that time I didn't know when or if I would ever have another 'place of our own' (because we were living in a friend's trailor for a year and a half at the time of the storm--and would not be returning). I learned a LOT about being content... even without "all my things"...but there were times it was sad and hard at not having a place of my own to decorate--create. Even while we were living in our friend's trailor, Nothing in the trailor was OURS, except our clothes. So, for TWO YEARS I lived with Nothing of 'my own'. During the time I was at my mom's (and feeling a little low) I read a blog that really spoke to me about my present circumstance, and it really made a difference for me. It gave me encouragement~ and inspiration. I went to the storage unit that held all our belongings, and pulled out one (very) small table and a very few "knick-knacks" to sit on top of it-- and went "home" to my little bedroom (at my mom's) and set up my little table... it was my way of creating beauty in the cicumstance of my life at that time... and I've Never forgotten it, or the blog.

Now, TWO YEARS (almost) of 'having' another "place of our own", I am STILL daily thankful for the gift of a home <3  And I often think of that blog when I get discouraged at not having the finances I'd like to have to "fix up" my little home... after two years! But... I recently re-read that same blog from two years ago... and guess what? YES, it encouraged and inspired me all over again!! (THANK YOU, RINA!! ;) I have been looking at what I can do-- with what I have-- to make my life more beautiful, for me and my family! :) I'd like to share that original blog (and some pictures of my efforts) with you:

Original Blog:
(from Into Still Waters)

{Creating a Life of Beauty December 11, 2008 by Rina}
{I visited the most beautiful blog I’ve ever seen today and there is really no way to describe how it affected me. Every picture, every post, seemed to reach out and touch my heart. This beautiful family, living in their beautiful home, surrounded by beautiful land, creating beautiful things… knitting and sewing, cooking and building. A family so connected, so close, so loving toward one another that it shines over all their faces. If God had asked me to paint a picture of the life I’ve always wanted, I couldn’t do any better than some of the photos I saw on this blog. And I found myself crying out to the Lord: “I want that some day!” And in the still, small voice, I heard God answer me:

This isn’t something given, it’s something that is made.

And then, I looked more closely.

I saw the everyday, made lovely by warm and caring hands. A bit of lace hung tastefully over a window. A mason jar, filled with fresh flowers. A porch, swept clean and pleasantly arranged. Little girls wearing dresses with matching pinafores; bright, clean faces and braided hair.

This beautiful life I saw in pictures was the work of loving hands, carefully tending the blessings of God. And suddenly I realized that this life is meant for me, as well. I, too, can choose to tend what God has given me, and create beauty out of the ordinary. I can choose to stop waiting for the perfect life to somehow find me, and begin to live it now. What do I want my “perfect life” to look like?

I want to live somewhere beautiful.
I can make my home more beautiful.

I want to live in a larger house.
I can make better use of my space.

I want my children to have beautiful clothes.
I can learn to make them.

I want my family to eat nutritious, healthy meals.
I can learn to cook them.

I want to have livestock and a large garden.
I can start a small garden, and tend to my chickens.

I want to be close to my husband and children.
I can draw closer to them.

I want my children to enjoy being with me.
I can enjoy being with my children.

I want my children to love God.
I can display God’s love toward them.

I can live the way I want to live, and choose my path in life.
And so tomorrow I will find a way to add beauty to my home. I will ask a friend to teach me how to sew. I will find a new recipe. I will play with my children. I will serve my husband willingly and cheerfully. And I will thank God for the life I am living – my perfect, blessed life.}

Isn't that SO GOOD?? I Love it!! I know that the beauty within our heart and lives is so much More than physical things... but as a woman who desires to "feather her nest"... the little things (like a crochet doily) can bring such a simple pleasure! And I'm Thankful for those 'little things'... even if they are frivolous!! ;) I still love the beauty in a sunset... but I also love the beauty in a candle put in just the 'right spot' and lit :) Beauty comes in different forms... and I hope to appreciate them all (remember my blog "Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder" ?)

And, so, I am on my way to (again) choosing my path in life... by choosing to tend to what YHWH has already given me... by choosing to find a way to create beauty out of the ordinary... and by choosing to stop waiting for the 'perfect' life to somehow find me--and start living the 'perfect' life YHWH has already given me NOW :)

*Some pictures of Creating MY Beautiful life...

I "fixed up" the small space on my little front porch... all with things given to me and stored in my garage! *No money needed*

A little closer view... and, by the way, *I* painted my front door red :) I always wanted a red door!! (don't know why) :) And I have to say, I do love it!!

A birdhouse shutter...

GOTTA have a quilt somewhere!! This quilted pillow sham (that I've had for YEARS) did just the trick! ;)

The little house says "Enter with a happy Heart"... and I do! ;)

I eventually plan to re-paint this little house, and put "the Coates" on it...

HAVE to see my little birdnest... I LOVE birdnests, I have about four REAL ones :)

Inside my little chest... I really like the little Mother Rabbit, she reminds me of the Beatrix Potter stories.

One last bird house...

And...just thought you might want to see a picture of the little table I moved to my bedroom two years ago (the only "my" space I had at the time-- and wasn't even really mine). It now stands in my living room... don't know how well you can see it, sorry.

There is a blog post I read several weeks ago that has stayed on my mind...and I asked my friend if she would mind if I posted it here on my blog...it was just so beautiful to me. She speaks of a genuine love for her husband-- beyond all the 'fantasy' of 'romanticism' that we all tend to dream of, hope for, and sometimes EXPECT from our husband and in our marriage. Truly, "LOVE" goes BEYOND affection, attraction, and the emotional and physical traits that iniatally bring two together. LOVE is commitment. LOVE is devotion, loyality, and trust. LOVE is honesty and selflessness...the list goes on and on...unending in its service to the one that is 'loved'; and in marriage, LOVE is the life shared together--growing and learning--and STAYING...Being there...and LOVE is memories <3

When we embrace the REALITY of genuine LOVE and LIFE and RELATIONSHIPS, we find we are far Less Discontented. When we cherish the time and the people and the circumstances we've been given on this side of eternity, we can enjoy the richness and the fullness and the beauty of our existance :)

Here is my friend's blog:
(from Into Still Waters) 

I Didn’t Marry My Soul Mate February 8, 2010 by Rina

I didn’t marry a man who likes what I like.
I didn’t marry a man who wants what I want.
I didn’t marry a romantic man or a rich man, or a man who loves to cuddle.
I didn’t marry a man who meets all of my needs, understands me completely, or can finish my sentences.

I didn’t marry my soul mate.

I married a man who has been with me for almost ten years.  I married a man who has laughed with me, cried with me and held my hand through the birth of five children and the death of another.  I married a man who doesn’t understand me, but is willing to listen.  I married a man who has seen me at my worst, and loved me anyway.  I married the father of my children.

I didn’t marry my soul mate.

I married the only man who knows my children the way that I know them.  I married the only man who remembers me as a blushing bride and a first time mother.  I married the only man who saw my tumble off our marital bed and still laughs about it.  I married the only man who knows which pillow is my favorite and which side of the bed I like to sleep on. I married the only man who can look at my children with the love of a parent who sees himself in their eyes.

I didn’t marry my soul mate.

A few moments ago, my youngest son came to me, holding a picture from our wedding day.  In it, my husband and I are kissing.  My son smiled up at me and said “That’s Mommy and Daddy!”  What a beautiful thing, for a child to hold his parents, together.  In a picture, and in life.

I didn’t marry my soul mate.
I married my husband.  And somehow, that’s enough.

I wish I could write such a 'tribute' to My husband :) But, that's what our LOVE is...18 years of living and loving and sharing...the birth of 4 children (the loss of 1) --ups and downs; good times and bad times; easy times and hard times; times of grand celebration and times of great devastation--all shared together in one beautiful strong LOVE...

*A JOYful Thought* LOVE is...YHWH, therefore is eternal :) We have been given the ability to experience the GREAT ETERNAL YHWH in a way that no other part of His living creation is able...and we are able to share it together--Now--and ETERNALLY <3 What a gift! What a JOYful thought! :)

 

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder"...I'd been thinking about this statement for a week or two, and then I was faced with a "real-life" situation that caused me to further contemplate the true meaning of this well-known saying (or what the truth is, "to me")...It, actually, is full of a liberating truth--but am I willing to be free?

It seems I must have a deep rooted tendency to judge, be critical, and just plain refuse to (inwardly) accept those opposed to what 'I' deem as righteous and pleasing to GOD... leaving little room for "where" they may be on their journey... leaving little room for "what" may be locked within their heart... leaving very little room for YaHWeH to reveal Himself through me (to others)--- or TO ME (by others). Hmmm...

I read a BEAUTIFUL blog about a wonderful family this person had met and spent some time with. A family that expressed such love toward one another that it seemed to just pour out on those surrounding them. A family that showed such love, respect, and honor toward one another that it felt like an honor to know them. A family that carried an air of love and integrity. Wouldn't we all want to be looked upon as that type of family? I know  I would want those qualities to be portrayed from my family. But here's the [embarressing] "catch"... when I SAW the family... well, it surprised me! WHY?? Because they didn't LOOK like the kind of family those things would be said about. They didn't LOOK like the description that was given them. They didn't?? They didn't, to WHOM? They didn't... to ME. I could only see their 'outsides'... which 'certainly didn't meet with MY standards of respectable, loving, honorable human beings'. UGH!! HOW SICKENING of me!!! YaHWeH sees the beauty that lies within... YaHWeH sees with eyes of love and compassion... YaHWeH receives the heart of man, without prejudice.

Now, read within the context of my point... I DO believe YaHWeH DOES have a standard for us to live by... but that is HIS buisness and HE is the Judge. I do NOT believe we should condone or take part in sin... but this is NOT what I'm talking about here. What I'm saying is that I, for one, have been guilty of pre-judging and withdrawing myself from those that seem to be "too worldly" or "too 'whatever' "... and I can clearly see that it is NOT right. My heart is to follow the heart of YaHWeH... so there is no room for me to not give my all. Relationships and people are what matter... and I want to live fully unto my Father <3  :)

So, I guess what I feel like YaHWeH is showing me is the true beauty that lies within... the beauty that HIS eyes behold... and the beauty that He desires to share with me-- through others. I'm very thankful that YaHWeH is so patient and kind with me, leading me out of my 'comfort zone' and opening my eyes to the error of my ways. It's never easy and it's never comfortable... but it's always the best way!! :)

*A Joyful thought* "Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder (YHWH)" :)
"He hath made every thing beautful in His time..." Ecc. 3:11  
 
 

 

 

 I don't think it would be appropriate to tell all the details, but let me just say that I have come in contact with a VERY RUDE person that has behaved VERY OBNOXIOUSLY toward me-- for NO reason that I can think of AT ALL. Well, I have been 'dealing' with this person's behavior for quite some time now, and not only with the past extreme rudeness and hatefulness...but also with some very 'odd' and 'strange' behavior that I just can't understand. This person is diffintely like NOone I have ever met before....

I have mostly tried to maintain as LITTLE contact with this person as possible--to avoid ANY cause for conflict or misunderstanding of ANY kind. I have been 'cordial' and 'polite' and have tried to be as pleasant as possible WITHOUT pursuing any personal connection. I realize, NOW, that I have basically been trying to "protect" myself. I am a "Peace Maker" at heart... I despise and avoid conflict, confrontation, or any disagreeance that causes uncomfortableness or offence (I'm a coward!)... and that's HARD when there arises certain circumstances that DO require "a backbone" in the ways of YaHWeH. I've had to rely HEAVILY on His grace and Spirit at times, for that very reason. However, left to my own, I "run the other way" rather than face contention.

This particular person has been showing small kindnesses toward me and my family, though... and I have smiled and given the appropriate 'thank yous'-- all the while maintaining my distance. I, truly, have not been intending to be hypocritical... I simply have not been able to bring myself to TRUST this individual. I honestly don't feel that I have a 'grudge' against this person. I have checked my heart and emotions often in this matter... I don't feel I have unforgiveness or anger or "revenge" or ANY such things; I simply have mis-trust. Well, reasoned I, It is not commanded that I TRUST everyone... so I must be "OKAY". After all, reasoned I, you fear the fire after you've been burned! Right? I'm simply using "wisdom" (It certainly sounded "spiritually mature" to me!). 

But my Father is righteous and genuinely wise, and will not leave me in error. He is the perfect Father that Teaches His children what IS right, and doesn't leave us to our own opinions. I Am thankful, but it's NOT easy! It's hard and it's humbling sometimes-- yet, it is very sweet :) My Daddy is so very sweet! :) So, you may be wondering, How did He do this? What happened? Well, once again, I feel I should withold the specific details-- but this person did something VERY helpful to me. It was a VERY generous and kind act that was totally unexpected! They certainly didn't 'have' to do it! They just did--and I'm not even sure if they realized what it meant to me, but they just offered something- with no strings attatched- and went on their way... leaving me to ponder... and, without even realizing what I was doing at first, I just HAD to say, " Lord, BLESS that person... for they are truly a better person than me!"  And they are! As far as I know, they are NOT a 'Christian'... nor 'live for God' in any way... yet; comparing "us"-- THEY have done more righteously than I. That's when I realized this lesson... I had just earnestly Prayed for "my enemy" (so to speak). I had genuinely prayed for this person that had opposed me and hurt me and caused me to be weary. It's not enough to just forgive... I may earnestly forgive, but I must also earnestly pray.