I may have written about this before, or mentioned it in some conversations with some of you, but I was reminded about it again... so... :)

It was a sweet moment early one morning before we started our lessons, or even before we ate breakfast... it was while we were sitting on the couch(es) "waking up" and talking-- me and the children :) We were all still a little 'drowsy', the living room windows were up... and in the distance was the beautiful sound of a dove <3 I LOVE birds and the sounds and songs of birds~ I'm always pointing it out to my children (always have, since they were very young)... and I thought *I* was the only one that heard it that morning, and as I was lost in my thoughts {quietly smiling to myself at the 'coo' of the little dove}... my youngest son said, "Did you hear that dove, Mommy?" :) That's something a lot of people would miss, not even hear or notice-- but Cameron's ear has been "trained to hear" what others don't. [I've heard it's the same musically, but I haven't got an ear to hear music the way musicians can-- so I don't know] 

That morning reminded me of another incident that happened awhile back... My family was driving down the road on a beautiful day with the windows down and the radio on and different children singing, talking, and laughing-- wind blowing and traffic passing; a LOT of "noise"! :D Yet, in the midst of all of that going on... my ear caught the song of a Meadowlark from a field we were passing <3 The song of a Meadowlark is one of my FAVORITE bird 'songs'! :) I pointed it out and asked if anyone heard it... NOPE, not a one (who could have?? in all that noise!) but *I* HAD :) I wasn't even "trying". I wasn't even expecting it or waiting for it or looking for it... I just HEARD it. My ears are "trained" to hear it :) It sang... and I heard :) Among everything else going on... I heard. When no one else did, I heard. When it "spoke"... I heard. :) 

From these two examples, it may sound like I put too much silly emphasis on 'hearing birds' :D But it's what I could see "IN" these two examples that I'm really talking about... not just hearing birds. It's the "hearing", it's the being "tuned in"... not to birds, but to what is important. I want to have an ear to hear YHWH. I want to be tuned in to HIS Spirit. To HEAR and OBEY, learn, and be blessed. When others can't or don't or won't... I WANT TO. When there's too much going on in "life"... I want to HEAR. When there is excitement, commotion, or noise... I want to HEAR. When it's still, small, or "in the distance"... I want to HEAR. I want to be "tuned in"... I want my ear to be TRAINED to HEAR :) I want to hear YHWH :) 

:)  As I was praying to YHWH today, I was able to pray~and sing~the ponderings of my heart... to release my inner desires and yearnings for HIM. This is somewhat personal, but what a sweet sweet time <3 A time I won't likely forget. I feel like I have come to an understanding of HIS Sabbath, that I've overlooked until now. It holds an even greater signifigance to me, now :) As I shared on my last post ("Shabbat Shalom??"), I have been gaining a deeper appreciation for His Sabbath over the past several months-- but it has really moved upon my heart to an even greater extent today <3

I feel like as we clear the clutter and chaos of our busy minds and lives, we are putting ourselves in the quiet place that we need to be... to BEHOLD HIM. Even if we feel like we have an organized and productive mind and life, free of clamour and chaos-- we STILL need to position ourselves  in the restful quiet place He offers us to effectively Behold Him. It is HIS Sabbath, and He desires that we take part in it... probably for many many reasons, but I feel like one of the very important reasons is so that He has us "still and quiet" enough that we can actually "behold Him" --as He reveals Himself to us more and more throughout the years and years of our lives that He grants to us.

"To Behold HIM"... what does that mean? I'm sure I don't know the full extent of what has been impressed in my heart by this 'thought', but I know it has to do with More than just "looking" at Him or in His direction. It has to do with examining closely-- with great awe and wonderment. To "behold" (take note of, take care of, investigate slowly and thoroughly) HIM-- to gain a clearer perspective and understanding of Him. Then, to guard those things He reveals to you, and keep them close... walking in them and living in them... making them a part of you. For me, it would be similar to studying the stars and constellations each night-- as I try to learn them and define them and track them through the night and seasons. To move beyond just being familiar with them, but knowing them. I've spent hours beholding their beauty and watching them closely... trying to learn them. They have a glorious beauty! But how easy is it for us to merely glance at them from time to time, and keep going about our own "thing" not really spending Time 'beholding' them? We admire them and rely on knowing they will always be there, and may even spend a few moments captured by their beauty from time to time... but I would say that Most of us just take them for granted most of the time. We're just used to them.

Are we the same way with YHWH? I don't want to be. I want to slow down and purposely focus my attention on Him. I want to *BEHOLD HIM*, in all His wonderous beauty and glory!! I want to be filled up and 'made fat' by Him as He did the land and skies in His creation of all things :)  I want to know Him and love Him and all of His ways, just as the writer expressed over and over in Psalm 119. We learn Him by His word, His Torah. A beautiful part of the Sabbath. His way is the way of life and I want to walk in it :) In the quietness of His peace, we can Behold Him <3

                    *Sar Shalom (Ruler of Peace)~ 'that we may Behold You'*

                         Sar Shalom, bring Your quiet love in this place
                               and relieve the stress of our ways~
                                     that we may Behold You.

                         Sar Shalom, bring the peace of Your quietness
                                and the beauty of Your holiness~
                                      that we may Behold You.

                                   O YaHWeH, we seek Your way,
                              to behold Your face and not turn away~
                                               we extol You,
                                           may we Behold You,
                                                O YaHWeH.
                                                       *

"Shabbat Shalom"... words I have recently become very familiar with. At first they were "fun new words", then they became words that "connected" our little "group" together (that we meet with on a regular basis)--because we began to greet one another freely using those words on the Sabbath (Shabbat), and now they have become "personal" words that hold very special meaning to me. 'Shabbat Shalom'... Hebrew words for "Peaceful Sabbath". I am learning the Hebrew language, and it is so exciting to become even more connected to these words and the language they come from!! But, it is more than that. It is "what" the Sabbath--and the peace of the Sabbath-- has come to mean to me. More than a ritual, more than a tradition, and more than a list of "don'ts"... but truly a special "set apart" time from the rest of the week. A time I have come to anticipate and look forward to. A time I have got into the routine of planning for and preparing for. A time I have come to LOVE. Without realizing it, I can see that it has brought a Peace to me and my life. I cherish it. It has become one of my greatest pleasures, one of my *favorite gifts* from YHWH :) And it comes EVERY WEEK!! :)

"Shalom" is Peace, but also More than {only} peace. It IS lack of confusion and lack of chaos and lack of deveastation and despair... but More than all of these. It is wellness, completeness, wholeness... nothing missing, nothing broken, and nothing lacking. It is the presence of YHWH, which is secure and safe and at rest from worry or fear or anger--or any thing that would cause disturbance. PEACE. What a Treasure! Can one put a price on genuine peace? It is beyond money or power or prestige... and it is freely given to all those that fear YHWH and keep HIS commands. What a gift!!! I truly appreciate this gift, and I cherish it with my whole heart. <3 

But I don't have to wait until Shabbat to experience Shalom... it is in HIM :) And as I sit quietly in my little home, listening to the clock tick and the keyboard keys click, I can experience Shalom/Peace :) And I *Am*... I hope you are to :)

Shabbat Shalom, my friends~   

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder"...I'd been thinking about this statement for a week or two, and then I was faced with a "real-life" situation that caused me to further contemplate the true meaning of this well-known saying (or what the truth is, "to me")...It, actually, is full of a liberating truth--but am I willing to be free?

It seems I must have a deep rooted tendency to judge, be critical, and just plain refuse to (inwardly) accept those opposed to what 'I' deem as righteous and pleasing to GOD... leaving little room for "where" they may be on their journey... leaving little room for "what" may be locked within their heart... leaving very little room for YaHWeH to reveal Himself through me (to others)--- or TO ME (by others). Hmmm...

I read a BEAUTIFUL blog about a wonderful family this person had met and spent some time with. A family that expressed such love toward one another that it seemed to just pour out on those surrounding them. A family that showed such love, respect, and honor toward one another that it felt like an honor to know them. A family that carried an air of love and integrity. Wouldn't we all want to be looked upon as that type of family? I know  I would want those qualities to be portrayed from my family. But here's the [embarressing] "catch"... when I SAW the family... well, it surprised me! WHY?? Because they didn't LOOK like the kind of family those things would be said about. They didn't LOOK like the description that was given them. They didn't?? They didn't, to WHOM? They didn't... to ME. I could only see their 'outsides'... which 'certainly didn't meet with MY standards of respectable, loving, honorable human beings'. UGH!! HOW SICKENING of me!!! YaHWeH sees the beauty that lies within... YaHWeH sees with eyes of love and compassion... YaHWeH receives the heart of man, without prejudice.

Now, read within the context of my point... I DO believe YaHWeH DOES have a standard for us to live by... but that is HIS buisness and HE is the Judge. I do NOT believe we should condone or take part in sin... but this is NOT what I'm talking about here. What I'm saying is that I, for one, have been guilty of pre-judging and withdrawing myself from those that seem to be "too worldly" or "too 'whatever' "... and I can clearly see that it is NOT right. My heart is to follow the heart of YaHWeH... so there is no room for me to not give my all. Relationships and people are what matter... and I want to live fully unto my Father <3  :)

So, I guess what I feel like YaHWeH is showing me is the true beauty that lies within... the beauty that HIS eyes behold... and the beauty that He desires to share with me-- through others. I'm very thankful that YaHWeH is so patient and kind with me, leading me out of my 'comfort zone' and opening my eyes to the error of my ways. It's never easy and it's never comfortable... but it's always the best way!! :)

*A Joyful thought* "Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder (YHWH)" :)
"He hath made every thing beautful in His time..." Ecc. 3:11  
 
 

 

 

 I don't think it would be appropriate to tell all the details, but let me just say that I have come in contact with a VERY RUDE person that has behaved VERY OBNOXIOUSLY toward me-- for NO reason that I can think of AT ALL. Well, I have been 'dealing' with this person's behavior for quite some time now, and not only with the past extreme rudeness and hatefulness...but also with some very 'odd' and 'strange' behavior that I just can't understand. This person is diffintely like NOone I have ever met before....

I have mostly tried to maintain as LITTLE contact with this person as possible--to avoid ANY cause for conflict or misunderstanding of ANY kind. I have been 'cordial' and 'polite' and have tried to be as pleasant as possible WITHOUT pursuing any personal connection. I realize, NOW, that I have basically been trying to "protect" myself. I am a "Peace Maker" at heart... I despise and avoid conflict, confrontation, or any disagreeance that causes uncomfortableness or offence (I'm a coward!)... and that's HARD when there arises certain circumstances that DO require "a backbone" in the ways of YaHWeH. I've had to rely HEAVILY on His grace and Spirit at times, for that very reason. However, left to my own, I "run the other way" rather than face contention.

This particular person has been showing small kindnesses toward me and my family, though... and I have smiled and given the appropriate 'thank yous'-- all the while maintaining my distance. I, truly, have not been intending to be hypocritical... I simply have not been able to bring myself to TRUST this individual. I honestly don't feel that I have a 'grudge' against this person. I have checked my heart and emotions often in this matter... I don't feel I have unforgiveness or anger or "revenge" or ANY such things; I simply have mis-trust. Well, reasoned I, It is not commanded that I TRUST everyone... so I must be "OKAY". After all, reasoned I, you fear the fire after you've been burned! Right? I'm simply using "wisdom" (It certainly sounded "spiritually mature" to me!). 

But my Father is righteous and genuinely wise, and will not leave me in error. He is the perfect Father that Teaches His children what IS right, and doesn't leave us to our own opinions. I Am thankful, but it's NOT easy! It's hard and it's humbling sometimes-- yet, it is very sweet :) My Daddy is so very sweet! :) So, you may be wondering, How did He do this? What happened? Well, once again, I feel I should withold the specific details-- but this person did something VERY helpful to me. It was a VERY generous and kind act that was totally unexpected! They certainly didn't 'have' to do it! They just did--and I'm not even sure if they realized what it meant to me, but they just offered something- with no strings attatched- and went on their way... leaving me to ponder... and, without even realizing what I was doing at first, I just HAD to say, " Lord, BLESS that person... for they are truly a better person than me!"  And they are! As far as I know, they are NOT a 'Christian'... nor 'live for God' in any way... yet; comparing "us"-- THEY have done more righteously than I. That's when I realized this lesson... I had just earnestly Prayed for "my enemy" (so to speak). I had genuinely prayed for this person that had opposed me and hurt me and caused me to be weary. It's not enough to just forgive... I may earnestly forgive, but I must also earnestly pray.